Walking lives.

So walking in to college for the first time, I realize three months in kindness is not as affluent or necessary between people.
Social transactions are very limiting in fact--depriving. Makes a person need just an honest smile. I need to be inspired. Moved. Breathe. However all this has become a secondary need to all my peers. As though they can survive without such needs. Still I see the same need and drive for compassion and understanding not just in me, but as well in everyone surrounding me.

I realize just in these months people eat at each others time, and try so hard not to give back.
Everyone is gaping for time and unwilling to share with themselves what time they do have. This is not selflessness. Its just lack of care towards ourselves.

THAT is something we forget to pay attention to and more important--value.

In this life I walk (or more literally sit ;} ) I see the struggle to instead of grow but to fool others. Its a weird observation. People are looking for academic satisfaction and not personal gratification. This means a bunch of people here for education look forward to that grade that end. This finish, everyones expecting. No one is waiting on time, trying to seek some quality time with themselves. Seems as though everyone is running to the end and forgetting the racwe was the best part. This worries me in the end. All this time, the most valueable thing to the individual, has become a thing of wasted space.

Not even fair to ouerselves, inconsiderate to others. And lacking participation in our lives shows how much we care and in the end deserve.

Thats what this life has taught me. Dont try to hard because no matter what it will end.

I dont need to agree. I pigment of my own color I will show a different face to the casual college student.

Its exhausting. I am tired.
And of course I let this affect the quality of my life. People and knowing them are their own responsiblity.

For the benefit of myself, for my growth I need to let go. Hold on to time and meet others on the way who are also holding fast and tight. Hoping that the concern for quality of our lives and character matches.
Maybe I will find a friend then. Until then this life needs not too much thought rather thoughtless action.