One phenomenon: What is truly impressive in Islam is the serene Individuality a woman is heightened to, without stereotypical abbreviations and assumptions that I will go ahead and excuse right now because unless you are a Muslim women I hope you should not testify the misery of one. So this sterotype of odd suffer we are apparently enduring, is in fact a mess that specializes in making women like myself oddly and randomly pitied for being modest and special and beautiful in grace and behavior. Made out to be the zeitgeist of a time, typical. So before I begin my two sentences, watch what your momma told you, she probably does not know it is very typical for women to face a trivial reality. Please, do not treat a Muslim woman like shes challenged in special ways, We are not mentally retarded, we are reflective both intropective and interpersonal.
In the name of God, Bismillah. And I begin..
A man will tell a woman,
"I will be honored to give you my name"
We have all heard it, in one way or an another. Romantic, far too romantic.
Baby Please.
This as we our minds have been taught from day one is expected and a duty for a woman to let go of her name for the sake of her "new" family.
Once I told my father that I didn't want to get married. As a kid, I sat their in front of him, his knees to mine and hurtfully admitted,
"No man deserves to take what you have given me, I am full of Shireen Khatatba, why would a man press himself and his name against the person who i have become"
He told me something that made me sob and pounce in a everslow hug,
"Baba, you have had me for too long, you will forget me and soon you dont have to be a Khatatba any longer..."
No Baba I think your wrong, for once...or twice ;}
In Islam women do not push the maiden names aside. This my friends is tradition. Did you know?Whether a practice of law or of unquestioned habit...Women are not to give their name up. And men are expected to respect this because this is how we maintain clear lingeage and perserve our personal identities. No person in fact is instructed to forcefully change their names, by law or tradition. Remembering of course, Islam allows and respects culture and tradition that does respect the boundaries of Islam. There is a clear distinction. A very clear separation between what our fathers and uncles mothers friends and cousins say and between what ALLAH swt says. Clearly one has more credability and outweights the other.
Even the orphan, it is mandatory to perserve the Child's name. They are not viewed as people whom we conform to our lives to then trade with a loving home, they are respected as their own individual tried with no parents.
Even if adoption occurs, the name of the child is again honored by not changing it.
Reason being, when there are people who change their names, all over the world we will have lost lines of lineage. IF you are not aware of this disgusting fact, this in turn and time causes insest. Yes, I have seen this, my mother more than myself. She worked in a hospital where people would change names of babies and even more sick, exchange babies. IT HAPPENS! IT REALLY DOES.
This causes hysteria and harram acts between unfamiliar brothers and sisters, daughters and fathers and uncles and neices. It is very crucial to a society that a person is observed as themselves to the grave. It is a beautiful thing to carry the name's of our own blood with us through the decades. And as women, no man should influence his name upon yourself--you do not change who you are because you have a ring on your finger. Its a nice fact that lets a woman always feel like her family will carry on inside her even if she lives with a new man.
So Baba, I am a Khatatba. And no time soon am I ready to die, unless by the will of God I die, so I should always be a Khatatba.
Most who will disagree is the traditional man. And the lacking knowledge otherwise stated as ignorant women. There rights we do not appreciate with action. Lets appreciate them. In all cases the name is held to a high level of respect, no human touches it. What can you ask for my feminists (by the way femenists are not man haters, they are lovers of men, but love themselves like they love for their brother ;] )
Ladies I have heard too often changing our fathers lovely maiden names. Let keep them and die with them. This is upheld by Islamic Law, and should be respected by men as you are your own person and are counted as so. Love your name, because Islam concurs you deserve to be your father's daughter.
One Phenomenon...most interesting of phenomenon.
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